(contemporaryartbychristine.com (image used with permission of the artist)
There was a bombardment of crocodile jokes when I started sharing the news I was moving to Darwin. I didn’t know anything much about Darwin, apart from Cyclone Tracy and a vague awareness of the bombing of Darwin by the Japanese. I knew it was the capital of the Northern Territory, and that it was our smallest capital city, smaller by half than my hometown of Wollongong. I also knew I wouldn’t be encountering crocodiles roaming the streets of suburban Darwin, any more than I met kangaroos bounding free, left, right and centre in the suburbs of Sydney and Wollongong. I also knew Darwin was a hot place.
With my marriage over, and the demise of the
substitute relationships I got involved with afterwards which caused trouble in
my family, particularly with my children, I felt like it might not have been a
bad idea to get away. I’d become very good at making bad decisions which had
unpleasant consequences for me and those I loved. My hope was that this was a
good decision: a strategic move to help me and those I’d hurt recover.
It was early in 2016 and I had been working for
Mission Australia in Wollongong for three and a half years. I’m an English
language teacher and as all teachers in this sector know, the availability of
work relies heavily on the number of students we have enrolled. When
enrollments started to dry up, and classes were being collapsed, I could see
the writing on the wall. I needed something stable in my life and work had been
that one thing during an incredibly difficult four year period. Had I lost my
job at that time, it would have been devastating so I decided to take matters
into my own hands. With nothing tying me to Wollongong, and a feeling that it
might be good if I removed myself from everything and everyone familiar for a
period of time, I applied for teaching positions all over the country and
around the world.
In July of 2016, I treated myself to a holiday in
Alice Springs; my first venture into the Northern Territory. I had wanted to
experience Uluru for as long as I could remember so I booked a tour to ensure I
got maximum bang for my tourist buck, and that I did. Whilst in Alice Springs,
I received a job offer; the only one out of all the applications I had sent
out. Due to the desperation of the company looking to employ me, I was able to
negotiate a very attractive salary which included my airfare to Darwin.
There was one other stumbling block to me leaving
Wollongong. My dad had been recently diagnosed with stage 4 mesothelioma (lung
cancer). There was every chance that, although he was relatively healthy at
that time, he could rapidly deteriorate. I was moving thousands of kilometres
away from him. If he went downhill, how would I get to him? I asked him how he
felt, and he unsurprisingly told me to go for it. Whether he thought it was a
good move for me or not, he told me it was, and his confident assurance sealed
the deal.
I was excited at the prospect of a new job in a new
state. I was confident God was again directing my steps and that this was
indeed the right move for me at the right time. A few months after I left
Mission Australia, they lost the government contract which had kept me and my
fellow teachers employed. My colleagues all lost their jobs, but I had already
moved on to bigger and better things.
Darwin smacked me in the face, (the heat was a fiery
wall of welcome as I left the airport terminal) then embraced me like a
long-lost brother. Australia’s northern most capital felt like a big country
town. I quickly lost myself in the new job, and finding somewhere to live, and
learning how to get around on the buses. I enjoyed the lack of traffic, the
friendly vibe, the lack of pace. I quickly found my groove and was too busy and
too enthralled in exploring my new life to miss anyone back in Wollongong.
Sadly, I never saw dad again. He died in December, and I was unable to return
in time to say goodbye.
Finding a church enabled me to quickly make new
friends. I took a gym membership and settled into a very happy routine. After a
failed attempt to breathe life into a dying relationship back home which
involved the person in question moving to Darwin and us renting an apartment in
the city, I began to feel like I needed one more very important piece of the
puzzle to be put into place. I did not want to live alone so I commenced a very
serious search for love; a relationship which I hoped would lead to marriage.
In January 2018, after three months of using the
eHarmony website, I was ready to cancel my membership. The novelty of searching
for a life partner online had well and truly worn off, and I was disappointed
at the lack of results. At the very end of the month, I saw a new profile on
eHarmony and I sent a message. I believed then and still do, that God had sent
me an angel. Thus began a great romance which we believe had God’s fingerprints
all over it. After a couple of months, I decided I had to meet this amazing
woman who I had been chatting to. At Easter I flew to Vietnam to see if the
chemistry I felt online with her would translate into real life magic.
She was so nervous about meeting me, she had not
slept the night before, but I knew immediately the magic was there. As soon as
I embraced her at the airport and kissed her cheek, I knew I would marry her. I
held her sweaty hand as we walked away to her friend's waiting car and all the
way to a nearby restaurant where we had our first meal together. He friend
joined us to save my angel from her oppressive shyness. Later she relaxed a
little, and we walked alone on the streets of Ho Chi Minh City, stopping for a
quick game of imaginary tennis on the sidewalk.
And so began a series of trips to Vietnam which
thrilled my senses and made my heart swell with love. When my angel came to the
Top End for her first visit in August 2018, I had been living in Darwin for two
years and was excited to show off the charms of the Territory. Despite being a
little overwhelmed, particularly by how quiet it was compared to Ho Chi Minh
City, she spoke enthusiastically about our future life together in the
Australia. On August 18, we got married at Cullen Bay in front of a small group
of family and friends, at sunset.
By this time, I was housesitting full time, and
loving life in Darwin more than ever. The plan was to save money and pay off
some debt in preparation for my wife and children to move to Darwin. We put in
the visa application in December and so began our long wait, scheduling
holidays as frequently as we could; the first of which was to her hometown,
Buon Ma Thuot where we had a traditional Vietnamese wedding ceremony. On February
26 the wait ended with the grant of the visa, and now our dream to live
together in Australia as a family has come true. For this we thank God, and
we’re also grateful to the laidback, tropical city of Darwin and her people.
I’ve seen plenty of crocodiles in my four years in
Darwin, but aside from the Adelaide River residents who amuse tourists, I
haven’t seen any outside of the zoo. I’ve learned more about Darwin too: her
proud and resilient history, and her culture, but most importantly I’ve learned
a lot about myself. Counterintuitively, coming to live in this remote, and oft
maligned frontier city, a place which many call a wilderness, full of ruffians
and runaways, has tamed me, calmed me down. It’s also true that my Top End
Angel has done immeasurably great things to being me some peace. You could say
she is a miracle: the answer to my prayers. I say that and I believe it.
by D.A.Cairns
